My cousin, Carol, died at 5 pm eastern Thursday. My mom is very ill and in the hospital and wanted my sister to call the police, insisting that the nurses were trying to poison her. Today she was delighted to tell us she was on national TV this morning to tell everyone about my royal purple comforter. Hilarious. Heartbreaking. Mostly hilarious.
On easier fronts, Libby and her BFF Richard trick or treated Friday and had a blast. Our firemen rode through the streets with horns blaring, stopping to give each child some candy and a glow-in-the-dark necklace to make them visible.
Life is full of contrasts, isn't it?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
My Boarding Pass
The annual marathon at Libby's school took place Friday in the rain. Since it was a rain-or-shine event, we came equipped with slickers and umbrellas. What a wonderful day we had, as the the high school drum and bugle corps boomed out marching cadences, police on horseback monitored the crowd and wowed the kids, and we all walked through the streets of Bethlehem and returned to have hot dogs and pasta salad back in the classroom.
You know, I spent most of my life on the outside, not even knowing to look in. I had no idea that our children connect us to our community, whether we are single or married. And I had no understanding that a life fully lived would have to somehow include having children. Until 2002.
Beginning that year, I stumbled upon my boarding pass into the family of man--Libby. We can go anywhere and everywhere together, especially places where community gathers--and know we are an integral part.
I am finally a part of life from the inside.
*author Pat Conroy's phrase
You know, I spent most of my life on the outside, not even knowing to look in. I had no idea that our children connect us to our community, whether we are single or married. And I had no understanding that a life fully lived would have to somehow include having children. Until 2002.
Beginning that year, I stumbled upon my boarding pass into the family of man--Libby. We can go anywhere and everywhere together, especially places where community gathers--and know we are an integral part.
I am finally a part of life from the inside.
*author Pat Conroy's phrase
Friday, October 2, 2009
Gracie Scheduled for Animal Heaven
Gracie, our cat of 13 years, will be put to sleep Tuesday, October 6. Perhaps, Julie, she will meet Nick's snake there :)
While I won't bring Libby to the actual "putting to sleep" procedure, we will be planning her funeral together. Libby will write a letter to God with instructions on how to take care of her (classic Libby). We will put in it in the burial box, provided by the vet. And after school Tuesday, we will have Gracie's funeral in our garden.
I found Gracie in Provo, UT in early 1997 as we all waited outside Provo Theatre to see a performance. After the play, she was still waiting outside. So I scooped her up and took her home. She was full of worms and still so affectionate. After an early next morning visit to the vet, she was dewormed, spayed. In addition to being a cuddly lap cat, she has moved from Orem to Salt Lake to Pennsylvania by herself in a plane, always purring.
What a good and loyal pet, Gracie. Libby and I will miss you.
While I won't bring Libby to the actual "putting to sleep" procedure, we will be planning her funeral together. Libby will write a letter to God with instructions on how to take care of her (classic Libby). We will put in it in the burial box, provided by the vet. And after school Tuesday, we will have Gracie's funeral in our garden.
I found Gracie in Provo, UT in early 1997 as we all waited outside Provo Theatre to see a performance. After the play, she was still waiting outside. So I scooped her up and took her home. She was full of worms and still so affectionate. After an early next morning visit to the vet, she was dewormed, spayed. In addition to being a cuddly lap cat, she has moved from Orem to Salt Lake to Pennsylvania by herself in a plane, always purring.
What a good and loyal pet, Gracie. Libby and I will miss you.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Magic of Seven
Today Libby turns seven. SEVEN. Now, I could celebrate her endless hilarities, imaginative creations, loving heart. But today when I woke up and celebrated her with small gifts and hugs and stories from her 7 years, I realized this birthday is a milestone for me, too.
I have made it as a mom for SEVEN YEARS. There were so many times in those years when I was full of worry, anxiety, weariness, loneliness for the in-person company of like-minded adults, and endless wishes for several real breaks full of grown-up fun. Apparently, though, I had whatever I needed and I made it through! As I looked into Libby's eyes this morning, I felt so full of love for her. I realized for the umpteenth time how her little self has transformed my life, which is a unique and utterly special gift just for parents.
As I drove her to school this morning and watched her walk, long brown hair flying, toward the school door with her backpack, I was overwhelmed by my own sense of crossing a finish line of sorts. Now she is is a confident and funny girl. Now I am in full acceptance of being her mom after a lifetime of self-centeredness.
Happy Seventh Birthday, my Libby! And Happy Seventh Birthday to me, too.
I have made it as a mom for SEVEN YEARS. There were so many times in those years when I was full of worry, anxiety, weariness, loneliness for the in-person company of like-minded adults, and endless wishes for several real breaks full of grown-up fun. Apparently, though, I had whatever I needed and I made it through! As I looked into Libby's eyes this morning, I felt so full of love for her. I realized for the umpteenth time how her little self has transformed my life, which is a unique and utterly special gift just for parents.
As I drove her to school this morning and watched her walk, long brown hair flying, toward the school door with her backpack, I was overwhelmed by my own sense of crossing a finish line of sorts. Now she is is a confident and funny girl. Now I am in full acceptance of being her mom after a lifetime of self-centeredness.
Happy Seventh Birthday, my Libby! And Happy Seventh Birthday to me, too.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Enduring Comfort of Refreshments
My friend Bryan Wilde wrote an inspirational post last month (http://thebwildecolumn.blogspot.com/ called "If Today Was My Last Day," about a flag-retiring ceremony at Boy Scout Camp in Utah. I was so moved by it that I vowed to find such a moving ceremony in Pennsylvania, so Libby could begin to understand love of her country and its flag. As luck would have it, the Boy Scouts are holding one here in our own town this Friday, September 11--or in the shorthand, 9/11.
So last night a bedtime, I told Libby we would be going.
"What's 9/11?" she asked.
I explained that the year before she was born, very bad men flew airplanes into two very tall buildings in NYC, and many many people were killed.
"Mommy, that scares me! I don't want to go! I hate 9/11! It scares me!" Tears followed.
We lay in silence for a moment, with only the sounds of sniffles. Now I was full of anxiety, wondering if she was too young to hear about that piece of our history.
Suddenly, out of the silence, she asked a hope-filled question. "Will there be snacks there, Mommy?"
"YES!" I said, realizing my hide was about to be saved.
"Then I would love to go!" she beamed.
The dark and disturbing memories of September 11 apparently go down much better with a spoonful of sugar--at least when you're a first grader.
So last night a bedtime, I told Libby we would be going.
"What's 9/11?" she asked.
I explained that the year before she was born, very bad men flew airplanes into two very tall buildings in NYC, and many many people were killed.
"Mommy, that scares me! I don't want to go! I hate 9/11! It scares me!" Tears followed.
We lay in silence for a moment, with only the sounds of sniffles. Now I was full of anxiety, wondering if she was too young to hear about that piece of our history.
Suddenly, out of the silence, she asked a hope-filled question. "Will there be snacks there, Mommy?"
"YES!" I said, realizing my hide was about to be saved.
"Then I would love to go!" she beamed.
The dark and disturbing memories of September 11 apparently go down much better with a spoonful of sugar--at least when you're a first grader.
Monday, August 31, 2009
First Grade Begins Today
Until yesterday I was sad that Libby was starting school today. We had had a good summer together. As we drove to swim club, Libby announced this from the back seat:
"Mommy, I am so glad school starts tomorrow."
"I'm so glad, honey."
Because, Mommy, we need a BREAK from each other."
She was serious. And she was right. School has arrived at just the right time. We both need to forge our own new paths apart from each other. But I miss her today--and you know what? I'll bet she misses me a little, too.
"Mommy, I am so glad school starts tomorrow."
"I'm so glad, honey."
Because, Mommy, we need a BREAK from each other."
She was serious. And she was right. School has arrived at just the right time. We both need to forge our own new paths apart from each other. But I miss her today--and you know what? I'll bet she misses me a little, too.
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